


Mountain Drabbles

by butrfac14



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Breastfeeding, Childbirth, F/M, Sexual Content, Some angst, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unsound birth control advice, don’t judge them it’s the 1930s, if you skip chapter five this could be considered T rated, implied postpartum depression, so take that as you will fam, well now you'd have to skip chapter 8 as well to keep that T
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2019-11-04 01:19:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17888834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butrfac14/pseuds/butrfac14
Summary: Everlark in 1930's Appalachia. This is a drabble series I'm bringing over from my tumblr blog, @butrfac14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters 2 & 3 were beta'd by my good friend evvykurler. Chapter 1 is my own bumbling. :)

The back door slams behind her, and Katniss tosses her bag down on the table. Windows rattle from the force, and if it were a decent house there would have been someone there to scold her for the display. But the place is a dump, just like every other shack that surrounds them. 

 

And there’s no one here but her and Prim, not anymore. Nobody to care.

 

“What’d you bring home today, Katniss?” Primrose glances up at her sister, her attention pried away from the ugly orange cat that sits on the bed with her. Buttercup is asleep on her lap, but the minute that he gets a good look at Katniss he leaps off the bed and darts away.

 

Buttercup has been on the receiving end of the older girl’s foot one too many times to stick around for long. 

 

The two girls watch silently as the cat leaps onto the windowsill and scurries through a tear in the screen.  _ There’s another thing that needs fixing, _ Katniss thinks. 

 

“You really ought to be nicer to him.” Prim scolds her sister as Katniss sits down on the bed, and bends over to untie her boots. The boots are tall and the laces are almost worn to threads, so she has to be very careful taking them off now. They are her only pair, and in the Seam she’s lucky to have even that.

 

“He doesn’t like me either.”

 

Prim rolls her eyes, but the subject go. “You didn’t answer me, sis. What did you get?”

 

“Not too much today, a few squirrels and a rabbit in the trap. Traded one of the squirrels at the bakery.” She pauses when the second boot pops off. “The bread is in my side pocket, it probably needs to be taken out.” Katniss stretches back on the bed, rolling her shoulders and trying to get comfortable.

 

“Did you talk to Peeta?” 

 

Katniss sighs deeply. “No, Prim. He tried to but I ran off before he got the chance.”

 

“What’s the holdup?”

 

Katniss knows that she’s being ridiculous. There shouldn’t be anything to think about, really. But not thinking things through is how she got into this mess in the first place.

 

Life was hard in Eastern Panem. Day to day life required having all of your wits about you, if a person wanted to survive. Even then it wasn’t always guaranteed.

 

It was a small chunk of Appalachian coal mining country, filled with deep hollows and tall mountains. A few farms dotted the land, areas where there was enough flat ground to grow 10 or 20 acres of tobacco. Even those were few and far between, since the Depression hit with its plummeting crop prices. Farmers received pennies on the dollar for their crops, unable to support their families or pay their property taxes.

 

It was like the last toll of the church bell, ringing out a final farewell to a soul who is passing from this world to the next. The final goodbye to a way of life.

 

The last of the lumber companies had already pulled out of the area years before, leaving behind decimated forests and broken dreams. 

 

It left only one real option to provide for yourself. For your family. For the house full of children that you couldn’t really afford to feed, let alone clothe properly. 

 

The coal mines.  

 

Around their home, the hollows were deep and the mountains seemed to stretch forever upward, leaving a dearth of sunlight.  It was said that sunrise was at ten in the morning, and sunset was at three in the afternoon. 

 

It wasn’t that far from the truth.

 

The idea of spending every hour of daylight deep inside of a mine shaft made Katniss feel like she was being smothered. Away from her beloved forest and fresh air, away from the sounds of creeks flowing and birdsong.

 

As bad as that would be, the mines weren’t even an option at this point. She glances down at her still flat stomach and curses herself. How could she be so foolish?

 

It’s only a rhetorical question, because she knows why she did it. Because Peeta is beautiful, the only thing she’s really ever wanted for herself. He’s light and hope, warmth and heat. 

 

The moments between them began innocently enough with shy smiles and secret kisses, and inevitably progressed to lying skin to skin with him on a blanket under the night sky.  His touch, his words, their lips. 

 

Katniss had begged him, until Peeta pressed himself inside of her, moved inside of her until they both came undone. Brighter stars burst through her than those that shone miles above, their far-away light barely visible through the treetops. She felt alive. She felt beautiful.

 

And in return for those beautiful moments with Peeta, there was a choice to be made.

  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Katniss had always assumed that Haymitch kept his hands busy with the guitar so he wouldn’t drink too much on nights like these. Nights when the old moonshiner needed to operate his still under cover of darkness, yet be sober enough later to make it to his brewing site without falling down the mountainside. 

 

The acoustics in this mountain range are a strange thing. They carry every chord up to her from Haymitch’s shack in the bottom of the hollow below, where he lives with his booze and his hound dog. 

 

There are some evenings when the Hawthorne men meet up with Haymitch to play music, bringing their prized instruments along with them- fiddles, mandolin, and banjo. On those nights music fills the entire mountainside, the hollow acting as its own amphitheater. Neighbors in the Seam come out to sit on their front porches and listen to the men play for hours.

 

Other nights she hears drunken shouting that sounds like it’s right outside of her door. Those are the nights that Haymitch stays in his home and drinks until he blacks out. Most of the time she prefers the music to the shouting.

 

Tonight that isn’t the case. His music had nearly been enough to drive her mad laying in bed beside her sleeping sister. Coming to the conclusion that she can’t stay there a minute longer, Katniss climbs out of the bed and leaves the shack.

 

Pulling her threadbare sweater tighter across her body, she sinks down onto the front step, finding that she feels calmer out in the cool night air. Haymitch continues strumming his mournful, lilting notes with his scratchy vocals mixed in occasionally.

 

“That old drunk is playing awfully late tonight, isn’t he?” Katniss is startled out of her ruminations by Peeta’s voice, calling to her from where he stands on the worn path that runs alongside the shack.

 

“What are you doing here?” she asks him, straightening up as approaches her.

 

Peeta sits down on the front step by her side. “You won’t talk to me, so I had to come find you on your home turf.”

 

“Did you have to sneak out so your momma wouldn’t know you’re meeting up with ‘mountain trash’?” 

 

“You know I don’t care what that woman thinks- she can go straight to hell.” He spits out the words, vitriol in his voice. “She knows where I am.” 

 

“I wish that I believed you, Peeta.” Katniss mutters, crossing her arms over her chest and staring straight ahead. 

 

“I’m not a liar, dammit!” He stands up and paces back and forth. “Is that what this is all about, my momma? You never let what she thinks bother you before. I thought that you cared more about me than that.” He halts in his tracks and shoves his hands in his pockets, jaw tense. 

 

She’s still, waiting for him to continue. 

 

Peeta glances over at her after a moment, and with a voice thickened with emotion of a different kind, he tells her, “I just need to know why you’ve been avoiding me.”

 

“I’m not avoiding you.” 

 

“Something’s happened, Katniss. What did I do?” He stands there, wearing his vulnerability like a second skin. Of course he thinks it’s his fault.  

 

And that makes her angry. Angry at his mother for not approving of her, for making him feel worthless. Angry at her own Momma and Daddy for being gone, for leaving her and Prim to fend for themselves. Angry at herself for putting all of them in this position. Angry at Peeta for making her want him so much. Angry at him for making her fall in love with him.

 

Love never did a thing for anyone.

 

Katniss feels the rage build up inside of her belly, coiling through her chest and propelling her up off the step. Peeta has to know, even if he hates her for it.

 

She stalks across the yard to stand directly in front of him. Gets right up in his face, eyes flashing with fury. “I’m going to have a baby!” 

 

She’s breathing heavily, and her eyes dart across his face waiting for his response. 

 

“What?” It’s obvious that he wasn’t expecting that. His face goes slack, and he stumbles backwards.

 

“You heard me. What’s your momma going to think about me now, huh? About the Seam trash who seduced her boy?” Katniss slams her hands down on her hips, waiting for his response.

 

“I told you that I don’t care what she thinks! And that’s beside the point. That’s…” Peeta pauses to collect his thoughts, and she is amazed at how well he seems to be taking the news.

 

“That’s a real stupid reason to avoid me, Katniss.” 

 

They stare at each other for a minute in the resulting silence.

 

“You’re not angry?” She’s stunned. Why is she the only one upset about this?

 

“Why would I be angry?”

 

Katniss stares at her feet, and her cheeks feel hot. “Because it was my idea. None of this would’ve happened if it weren’t for me,” she mutters to the ground. 

 

Peeta laughs, surprising her by throwing his arms around her, pulling her in close. She lays her head on his chest, and his steady heartbeat soothes her. “Katniss, I wasn’t exactly arguing with you about what we did, you know.”

 

She rolls her eyes, sure that he’s just trying to make her feel better. 

 

Peeta just squeezes her tighter. “You’ve got to see it my way. The girl that I’ve been crazy about my whole life is going to have my baby? And you think that I should be upset? Katniss, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

 

“But this is going to make everything so much harder. What are we going to do?” She has relaxed considerably in his embrace, but still has her doubts about the future. Nothing comes easy around here.

 

“Get married.” 

 

“Oh, it’s just that simple huh?”

 

She begins to protest but he kisses her quiet before saying, “Hush now. We’ll figure it all out later.”

 

“Peeta, I’m not sure…”

 

Suddenly the music stops, and a voice carries up to them out of the dark hollow beneath. “Keep it down up there!” The pair jumps apart from each other, eyes wide. 

 

How on earth did he hear them? “Haymitch, we aren’t being that loud.” Katniss calls down to him. She wishes that he’d mind his own business.

 

“Not yet, but I know what you two get up to, and after you been fighting? Hell. You’re not the first pair that I’ve come across in a carnal position, but you’re definitely the loudest.”

 

There’s a beat of silence, where Katniss has visions of pushing her drunk neighbor down the mountainside.  No one would suspect a thing if she can convince Peeta to keep his mouth shut.

 

Haymitch continues, “Congratulations on your, uh, impending nuptials by the way.” Peeta snorts beside her, for which he receives an elbow to the ribs. 

 

“This isn’t funny. Besides, I never said I’d marry you!” she hisses under her breath. 

 

“Let me know when, and I’ll round up the Hawthorne boys to play for the party. And I’ll provide the refreshments. None for you though, of course, little momma.” Katniss scowls, shaking her head.

 

“Come on, he means well. Don’t be mad.” Peeta gives her a firm kiss on the lips, after pulling her close once again. It’s half embrace, half restraint. 

 

“Haymitch, play us a slow song,” he calls down the mountainside. “I’ve just got to have a dance with this beautiful lady.”

 

The music starts up again. They sway back and forth, and he whispers, “It’s going to be alright.”

 

And surprisingly enough, Katniss actually believes him. But she’s not ready to admit to it. Not yet.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Katniss kneels down and grasps a smooth stone from the water’s edge. She flicks her wrist and watches as it sails across the creek, where it skips two, three times before coming to a rest beneath the shallow water. The chirp of the little thrush birds and the gurgle of the bubbling creek provide the melody to accompany her thoughts. After a moment of quiet, she rises to her feet and heads through the woods towards home.

 

Katniss woke up that morning from another dream about her father, and now thoughts of him were weighing heavily on her mind. Here in the woods his presence is strong, and she can almost imagine that he is walking alongside her. Not a large man, but handsome with his silver eyes and jet black hair, and a light tread just like his oldest daughter. In the recesses of her mind she can hear him sing as they walk through the trees, his rich voice and the words of a song about the hanging tree- a tale of a condemned man who beckons for his lover to join him in death. 

 

Momma had hated that song.

 

“Where have you been? You know we need to be at the church in an hour.” Prim rushes towards her as she steps inside the door of the shack, quickly pushing Katniss toward the corner of the room where the washtub sits. “I was starting to worry that you weren’t going to show, the water’s probably not even warm anymore.” 

 

“I’m sorry.” Katniss stops and pulls her dirty clothes off, dropping them into a pile, and surveying the room. A not-quite white dress and clean undergarments hang over the back of a chair, ready to slip into once she’s clean. “I kept thinking about Daddy this morning, so I went for a walk.”

 

Life wasn’t always like this for the Everdeens. They hadn’t been dirt poor while her father was still alive. The family had actually been better off than most in the area. Daddy had owned a dry goods store, and in her earliest memories Katniss rememberers sitting there with him on the counter. She would watch him help customers with their purchases. She remembers bolts of fabric, barrels of flour, hardware, and even a jar of peppermint candies he would share with her every now and then.

 

But life as they knew it came to an end one night when her father found himself on the wrong end of a pistol. There was a card game, a few men who were stupid-drunk on moonshine, and a fight that broke out over a bad hand. The man who pulled the gun on Daddy was never brought to justice, somehow managing to escape into the hills that night and disappear. 

 

In the following days little effort was made to find the gunman.

 

And really, what did it matter? The damage was done. Daddy was dead. Momma might as well have died that day because she stopped living, choosing to simply exist. They lost the store and the house in town, and were forced to move into the Seam shack with the meager possessions they had left after paying her father’s final expenses.

 

Prim bites her lip, nods in understanding, because she too misses when they were a real family. “I wish they could have been here today.”

 

Their mother had passed last year after a short bout with tuberculosis. When the disease took hold of Momma it was as if the invitation she’d been waiting for had finally arrived, the chance to take death’s cold hand in her own. Katniss realized that their mother had given up on life the day she came home to find Momma out in the frigid January cold and deep snow, clad in only her nightgown, no shoes on her feet and an indifference to the weather. She’d stood on the edge of the mountainside, staring down into the hollow like there was an answer to be found in its depths. 

 

Momma died a week later, and was laid to rest next to Daddy in the churchyard. And she hated herself for it, but the only feeling that Katniss could muster up over her mother’s death was gratefulness that she had at least waited until Katniss was eighteen, so that Prim wouldn’t be taken away from her.

 

Katniss tries to shake off the dark thoughts while Prim helps her climb into the wash tub. This isn’t a day to dwell in the past, so Katniss grasps her sister’s hand, reminding herself of the family that she still has. Prim gives her hand a squeeze. “I’ll be right back,” she says. “I still need to get you something.”

 

When her sister steps outside, Katniss pins her braid around the crown of her head to keep it dry, before stretching out in the tub as far as she can. She picks up the lavender-scented soap, rubbing it across her face and neck before moving lower.   _ I have no idea how I’m going to fit in here when the baby gets big, _ she thinks, glancing down. Her frame is mostly unchanged, just a slight swelling of her breasts and abdomen, but it is only a matter of time until the pregnancy is apparent to all.

 

There are days when the panic still digs itself deep into her, its hold so powerful that she can’t breathe. Days where she disappears into the woods and doesn’t come out again until dusk has begun to stain the sky in hues of yellow and orange and pink. After years of barely getting by and believing that she would always be alone, it’s difficult for her to shake off her fears about this new life. 

 

But she’s trying, because she’s not alone anymore. Now there is Peeta, and the child that is growing in her womb. A future that she hadn’t planned for. But despite her fears, Katniss knows that she doesn’t want to live without either of them. They snuck up on her.

 

There is only one direction to move. Forward. She climbs out of the tub and dries her body off with the towel that Prim left her, and dresses in the clothes that have been laid out. When her sister returns from collecting a bouquet for the wedding, she lets Prim brush her inky black hair, and place small wildflowers in the braids that are coiled around her head.

 

“You look beautiful, Katniss.” Prim hugs her tight and steps back. “I’m so glad that you have Peeta now, that you’re not alone.”

 

“Prim, I’ve never been alone. You’ve been right here.” Katniss wipes a tear from her eye with the back of her hand. Prim reaches into her own dress pocket and hands her a handkerchief, passing it to her with a little smile.

 

“I think that we had better go now, or you’ll be late, and we don’t want to keep the preacher waiting. Are you ready?”

 

Katniss places a hand on her abdomen, and thinks about the boy waiting for her at the church on the outskirts of town. It’s an easy decision. “Yes, I’m ready.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 4 & 5 are a bit more fluffy than the previous ones because I wanted Katniss and Peeta to have a little slice of happiness- it is their wedding day, darn it! I'm posting the two back to back because it was originally just going to be one chapter. Chapter 4 contains a nod to my all time favorite Everlark fic. See if you can spot it, let me know if you do!
> 
> This chapter was beta'd by my friend Evvykurler who is amazing, supportive and quietly hilarious.
> 
> Feel free to leave comments, my validation-ho-heart loves it. Thank you for reading!

The officiant of the ceremony is a circuit-riding preacher, a man responsible for a parish of four churches within a 70 mile radius. In the summer months Brother Jennings doubles as an evangelist, traveling across Panem with his tent and his fiery sermons. He is a Goliath of a man- so tall and broad-shouldered that he barely fits through the narrow chapel door, with sun-burnt skin, dark hair, wild eyes, and a voice like gravel. He also readily shares the fact that his calling came while he was serving a prison sentence further south for attempted murder. While she’s not a regular church-goer herself, Katniss can imagine what it would be like to sit in on one of his services. The man himself would be enough to scare the sin right out of you. 

 

Rev. Jenkins places his Bible down on the pulpit of the Twelve Souls Chapel before reaching out and giving Peeta a firm clap on the shoulder, making the younger man grimace slightly from the force of the impact. 

 

“You can kiss your bride now.” The reverend nods at Katniss, and she grasps the wildflower bouquet even tighter in her hands, trying to give her nervous fingers something to do. 

 

There are more people here than she had expected. The chapel is full of well-wishers, and she feels like their eyes are boring into the side of her head. So when Peeta steps forward to grasp her by the hips, and she can feel the slight tremor in his hands, it helps her to know that she’s not the only one feeling anxious. He looks into her eyes and it instantly quiets the galloping in her chest, as though she’s floating in his calming blue depths. 

 

They share a smile, and she leans forward to meet him for a brush of their lips. He has a different idea, however, pulling her flush against his body. One arm slides smoothly around her waist, the other snaking up to the back of her head, which he then tilts for better access. When his lips part her own, she is swept up by him, forgetting the crowd of onlookers. A loud gasp from the congregation is followed by applause, and when they separate, her head is spinning. They both look down at the crushed bouquet in her hands, Katniss laughing to herself a little, while he looks chagrined.  

 

“I’m sorry.” Peeta apologizes for the flowers, but she doesn’t mind. He studies her face intently for a moment. “What’s so funny?” 

 

How can she explain to him that much like the crushed bouquet in her hands, he decimated all of her expectations about love? Katniss just cups his cheek and kisses him again. 

 

“I’ll tell you later.” 

  
  


_ Before  _

 

“Katniss!” Looking up from the path that she is beginning to take back home, Katniss sees that the baker’s youngest son is waving to her. When she hesitates, Peeta trots towards her to catch up. “How are you?’ He asks, coming to a stop in front of her. She shrugs, puzzled by his question. Why on earth is he talking to her? They aren’t friends.

 

“I’m okay.” Katniss glances around his shoulder quickly before looking back up at his face. He seems nervous, which makes her feel nervous. She’s never been good at coming up with the right thing to say. “Did your father need something, Peeta?” Katniss finally prods, because it’s the only reason she can think of for him to follow her out the bakery door. Did Mr. Mellark forget something?

 

Peeta’s face lights up. “You know my name?” 

 

She gives him an incredulous look.  _ What is wrong with him? _ Katniss wonders if he could have been kicked in the head by a mule, like the oldest Hawthorne boy was last year. Peeta had seemed pretty bright while they were in school together, but his current behavior is calling that into question. 

 

Katniss shakes her head. 

 

“Of course I know your name. I should be surprised that you know mine, if anything. What did your daddy want?” She repeats, folding her arms over her chest and starting to feel a little impatient. Why won’t he just tell her what he needs? 

 

And why is he acting so  _ weird _ ?

 

His fair skin turns bright red, and Peeta scratches the back of his head. “No, he doesn’t need anything else.” He gives her a pained expression before seeming to gather his resolve. “Actually, I’m done with work for the day and I just wanted to ask if I could walk you home.”

 

“Huh?” Why would Peeta think she’d need somebody to walk her home? There is a 6-inch knife in the pocket of the slacks she’s wearing, and it is a known fact that Katniss Everdeen can take care of herself.  Sure, he’s bigger than her. A lot stronger. She eyes his muscular physique and remembers seeing him haul sacks of grain (she’s pretty sure that each one of those bags have to weigh as much as she does), one on each shoulder, from the train depot across the street to the bakery. “I don’t need anyone to walk me home.” She stares at him and notices that he is getting redder by the moment.

 

It suddenly hits her.  _ Oh.  _ She examines Peeta closely, searching his face for an answer.  _ That’s not possible, is it?  _ Why would the baker’s son be interested in her? Scrawny little Katniss Everdeen. Fatherless, motherless, dirt-poor Katniss Everdeen. An idea comes to her, and her temper flares. “I’m not going to go to the slag heap with you, Peeta. Just because I’m Seam doesn’t mean I’m easy.” 

 

There’s no way in hell that’s happening. 

 

“No, that’s not what I meant! Of course I think you’re pretty, everyone does.” Now it’s Katniss’ turn to blush, but she shakes her head. 

 

 _“_ But I’m not one of those guys.” Peeta pauses for a minute, finally working up the nerve to make eye contact with her. _“_ I’d just like to get to know you, that’s all.” 

 

Katniss studies him for a moment, the wheels in her mind turning. Peeta has never had a reputation as a skirt chaser, not like a lot of the other boys her age, or his own older brothers for that matter. She can’t quite admit it to herself yet, but there is something about him that intrigues her.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Really?” Peeta looks shocked that she agreed at all. 

 

The smile on his face is ear to ear, and it makes her have second thoughts about agreeing to walk with him. He looks so happy right now, there is no way that she can live up to his expectations. Katniss doubts that Peeta will really like a single thing about her if he gets to know her better. She isn’t exactly known for being friendly. 

 

Katniss shrugs anyway. “Why not? You seem harmless. But just so you know, I do have a knife if you try to get fresh.” She turns on her heel and heads in the direction of home, leaving Peeta to fall into step beside her. 

 

Those walks turn into a regular occurrence throughout that late summer, and into the early fall. Peeta really seems to enjoy her company- he is talkative and it balances out her quieter personality. It really comes as a surprise to Katniss how much she likes spending time with him. Likes it so much that it becomes the high point of her day, meeting up with him to traipse through the woods under the riot of colors on the branches high above them, where the cool night air has already begun painting the mountain foliage into brilliant shades of gold and orange.

 

“I love your laugh. It’s just like music.” Peeta tells her one day as they cross into the woods, away from the prying eyes of town. He reaches over, brushing his hand against hers. “Is this alright?” Katniss feels a shiver travel up her arm from their shared point of contact, and threads her fingers through his. It’s another thing about him that surprises her.

 

But the biggest surprise of all comes one day while she’s leaning back against a tree, watching Peeta watch her. A new tension has filled the space between them, and he steps forward, asks if he can kiss her. The leaves are almost gone and there’s a distinct chill in the air, but he’s standing very close and Katniss has never felt warmer a day in her life. The anticipation is making it hard to breathe as Peeta leans in, so she closes her eyes and feels his breath on her face first, followed by a warm press of his lips. Peeta pulls back and Katniss opens her eyes to meet his gaze. The remaining leaves from the tree above them rain down around her as he leans in again, and they laugh like children at this new discovery before he kisses her quiet. 

 

Katniss realizes that she’s in love with him, and it’s going to change everything.

  
  
  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut in the next chapter. Yay!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wedding night smut ahead, and more fluff.
> 
> This chapter is all me, so any mistakes are solely my fault.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this! (I told my beta evvykurler that I really needed to get some Everlark smut out of my system because I keep trying to interject it into my other story where Katniss is inexperienced and has just met Peeta again. lol... I feel better now.)
> 
> Please feel free to talk to me.
> 
> I'm @butrfac14 on tumblr

“Here we are, Mrs. Mellark.” Peeta steps around her, setting her bag down inside of their new home. It’s a small house on the outskirts of town, and almost as pitiful as the shack she’d been living in with her sister. But at least there are two bedrooms here, so Peeta and Katniss will have some privacy when Prim moves in.

 

But that won’t be for a few days yet.

 

Peeta scoops her up into his arms, stepping over the threshold with a cheeky grin. Katniss scowls at him. “Don’t you dare call me Mrs. Mellark. It only puts me in mind of your momma.”

 

After the wedding, there had been a small party with their friends and neighbors, and true to his word, Haymitch Abernathy provided “refreshments” to accompany the music and dancing. The revelry lasted for hours, but as the sky finally settled into nighttime blackness, the pair decided it was time to go. So after bidding Peeta’s father and mother goodnight and checking in with Prim, they snuck off like a pair of guilty children.

 

Peeta sets her down but doesn’t let go, drawing her in to the intoxicating warmth of his body. “So. Not Mrs. Mellark, you say...” He touches his lips to hers before moving lower. “Hmm, what can I call you then?” He hums into the hollow of her jaw, placing open-mouth kisses there.

 

“Peeta…”

 

“That’s _my_ name,” he murmurs, kissing behind her ear, “Katniss.” Her name is the ghost of a whisper. The feel of his soft words are driving her mad.

 

Katniss squeaks in surprise as she finds herself being hoisted up into the air, his large hands wrapped around the back of her thighs. She coils her legs around his waist as he carries her to their bedroom.

 

“I can’t wait to get you out of this dress and into our bed. _Fuck_ .” Peeta swears as she grinds herself against his erection, her fingers tearing at his shirt. “I love saying, _oh fuck Katniss_ , our bed.” He lunges for her mouth, kissing her desperately as they stumble through the doorway to the bedroom.

 

“You stay right here,” His voice is practically a growl, as he releases her to sit on the edge of the mattress. Peeta spreads her legs apart and lowers himself down, tugging her shoes off impatiently. When her feet are free he kisses the arch of one foot.

 

“What are you doing?” She asks breathlessly, searching his face for an answer. The sensation spreads with each touch of his lips, light and teasing, as he moves upward across each inch of uncharted terrain. They’ve never done _this_ before, _Whatever this is,_ Katniss thinks. Every time they’ve been together it was in the woods, and their couplings were always rushed for fear of being caught.

 

But what he’s doing to her right now? It’s the opposite of rushed. Slow and decadent.

 

“I’m doing something that I’ve wanted to do for a long time.” Peeta slides the hem of her skirt up and kisses her thighs, breathing deeply as he moves higher and higher. Katniss squims on the bed as he rubs his nose across the crease of skin that separates her hip from her thigh, making her buck upward. He plants a kiss to her panty-clad core, before running the tip of his tongue across the delicate lace-trimmed edge.

 

His voice is husky when he speaks. “You have no idea, the effect you have on me.” Katniss is in a daze, shifting backward and lying down as he cages her in with his body. She doesn’t know what he’s planning to do, but her body is screaming at him to _hurry up and do it_. Peeta must hear her subconscious plea, because he begins unbuttoning her dress, planting kisses as more and more skin is revealed. He pauses when he gets to the top of her ribcage, running a fingertip across the curve of her breast before lightly sucking on her nipple through the thin cotton bra.

 

Katniss can’t stand it any longer. She sits up, pulling the dress off her body before reaching for him and tugging on his shirt. He wraps his arms around her back, unhooking her bra as she shoves his shirt off of his arms. Peeta moans when her breasts are freed from the material, while Katniss unbuttons his pants and pushes them down his hips. Finally he loops his fingers around her panties and pulls them off, before discarding the rest of his own clothes.

 

Once they are both bare, Peeta lays down beside her and she tangles herself up with him again. Craving the feel of him, skin to skin, electric currents that run through her body as they touch. Peeta begins a journey south with soft words, “beautiful”  and “lovely”. Softer lips, stopping first to cross the hollow of her neck and her small breasts, then further still, dipping into her navel. When he finally pauses at the juncture of her thighs, Katniss can hardly breathe. He spreads her knees apart and climbs between, stretching his body flat so that he can kiss her _there,_ gently at first but then dipping into her with his tongue. The sensation is deep and heady, and pleasure surges through her so quickly that it catches her off guard.

 

Katniss wails into the night, arching her hips farther into his velvet mouth. Peeta reaches up a hand to caress her breasts, as she comes undone around his lips and tongue and stroking fingers. He keeps her flying, milking her release until she can breathe again.

 

Peeta sits up, sucking on the fingers that were just inside her, before crawling up to kiss her roughly. Katniss tastes what she realizes must be herself on him as Peeta lifts one thigh up and around his waist, plunging himself inside in one swift motion.

 

They groan in unison. Katniss is still sensitive, and his rough thrusts through her walls are making her feel desperate, crazy. “Peeta,” she says, opening her eyes to look up into his glazed over blues, “I want to try something. Lay down on your back.”

 

Peeta complies, pulling out and rolling over. He grasps her hips as she straddles him, sinking down onto his length. “You’re so beautiful.” He groans, thrusting up into her. At his upward motion, she freezes.

 

This is it, exactly what she was trying to find. Katniss grinds down onto him, the sensation building until her body seizes up and she throws her head back in ecstasy, release gushing from her and covering his body as Peeta is caught up in her waves, following after her.

 

They are quiet for a minute after, Katniss draped across his body as their breathing returns to normal. Eventually Peeta takes her hand in his, kissing the tips of her fingers before looking up into her eyes. His are solemn, full of the promises they made to each other today. “I know that this isn’t exactly what you wanted, Katniss. Marriage, babies…” His voice catches. “But you need to know that you’re my everything. You’re my whole life.”

 

Katniss feels her throat constrict with emotion. “I’ve always wanted you,” she whispers. It’s so quiet in the room, and Katniss wishes that she were better with words, because Peeta needs to know. “It scares me, just how much I wanted you, since that very first day.” She presses her lips to his, speaking the words to him that her voice can’t say.

  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we welcome Baby Mellark!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with childbirth and breast feeding if that makes anybody squeamish. There is also love, anxiety, crabby pregnant Katniss, Peeta the worry wart, humor, and drunk Haymitch (lol)
> 
> Wow, so I'm finally updating this story after 3 months? Needed to check a few things off my mental to-do list before I was ready to come back. I hope you guys enjoy reading!
> 
> Thank you to my friend evvykurler who beta'd this chapter for me. You are amazing lady!
> 
> Obviously, I own nothing. The Hunger Games and its characters belong to Suzanne Collins.

 

Late fall has arrived in Eastern Panem, and while the daytime temperatures are still moderate, the sun’s earlier progression behind the mountain range leaves the evenings frigid. The signs of the morphing season are everywhere, and they serve to remind Katniss of the changes that are happening to her own little family.

 

Prim’s nanny goat goes into the shed at night to stay warm now, and the coal stove is kept burning all evening long. When it’s time for bed they bank the fire down, right about the time Buttercup shows up to be let inside after tom-catting his day away.

 

When the two of them are alone in bed at night, Peeta and Katniss curl up together under the quilt, intertwining their arms and legs in their blanket nest. Some nights they lay together and whisper back and forth until they both drift off. Other times they don’t say a word, choosing to let their lips communicate in a different way.

 

While the months following their summer wedding haven’t been without some arguments and misunderstandings- hurt feelings on both sides, tears, and fiery scowls hot enough to melt the layer of ice that forms on the creek every January- it’s become a life of contentment and happiness in their small house.

 

For lack of a better word, it’s just plain nice. Nice to have him come home in the evenings and help her and Prim around the house. Nice for the three of them to sit down at the table together and share a meal. Nice to visit with Haymitch (as loath as she is to admit to enjoying the man’s company) when he stops by occasionally for a game of checkers. Nice (even more surprising to her) to go for Sunday dinner at Peeta’s mother and father’s home after attending church services.

 

One of the nicest things of all is when she lays in bed and watches him get ready for work in the early morning. It’s fascinating to know that Peeta is hers, that she is allowed to observe him while he takes off his pajamas and gets dressed for the day. Katniss likes the way that he pushes his arms inside of his shirt sleeves, the way that the material covering his broad shoulders strains a bit when he bends over to tie his shoelaces, always in double knots. Something about taking in his daily routine feels as intimate to her as the times when they lay together at night.

 

Katniss usually gets up to begin her day once she’s had her fill of watching him, but last night she’d tossed and turned for hours, unable to get comfortable. Neither of them had slept very well.

 

“Are you sure that you don’t want me to stay home with you today?” he asks, sitting beside her on the bed. Peeta reaches over to rub her belly with his warm hands; it’s his daily routine and his way to tell the baby “goodbye” before leaving the house.

 

Her husband’s such a fretter.

 

“No, you need to go to work.” Her words sound a little harsh, so she pats his cheek affectionately. “Don’t worry. I’ll have Prim here with me.”

 

He isn’t very happy about it, but Peeta does leave for the bakery once she promises to send word if labor begins in earnest.

 

* * *

  
  


“Do you want to get up and walk around a little more? It’ll help speed things along.” Prim leans against the door frame and wraps her arms around her middle, just back from putting Lady in her pen.

 

The pair of them had already been out to the meadow to stretch their legs after Peeta left for work, but regardless of the fact, Katniss still hauls her unwieldy body up off of the chair. “I think that I’ll go crazy if I sit here much longer. Just let me grab my coat.”

 

The garment in question actually belongs to Peeta, but he insisted she use it now that her own won’t button over her belly. “I’m always warm anyway,” he told her when she tried to make him wear it to work one morning, “and I’d rather have the two of you taken care of.”

 

Prim helps her slip on her shoes before they leave the house. It’s the pair that she finally gave in and let Peeta buy for her at _Cartwright's,_ and that was only after her boots became too uncomfortable for her swollen feet.

 

What should have been a simple purchase instead became a source of contention.

 

Katniss tried to talk him out of buying them. “Plenty of people go barefoot, Peeta, it’s not even winter yet. My boots will fit again before it gets really cold.”

 

To her surprise, Peeta actually showed a flare of true anger then. She couldn’t believe it- temper was her usual reaction, not his.

 

“My wife will not be barefoot if I can help it.” He became tight-lipped, and turned to leave the room as though it were the end of the conversation. Peeta should know her better than that.

 

When he looked back to see that Katniss was rolling her eyes at him, the argument was off and running in earnest.

 

“Katniss, you need shoes. Do we or do we not have the money on hand to buy them?” They were both aware that he already knew the answer.

 

“Why should we spend the money though? What if something happens and we need those coins later?”

 

“What kind of man do I look like if my wife is seen in town barefoot? It looks like I’m not able to provide for her is what it looks like!”

 

“No one thinks a thing about it and you know it!” Katniss felt her own face flush in anger. He was being ridiculous.

 

Or not.

 

She supposed that he might be right, because it really was only the poorest of the poor who went barefoot. Residents of the Seam, mostly.

 

But that was beside the point.  Why should they care what others thought? Caring about another’s opinion doesn’t keep food on the table.

 

“Maybe back in the Seam that’s true, but not here. In town it matters, and it’s my job to take care of you. Why for Heaven's sake won’t you let me buy you a damn pair of shoes? The cost is not going to make or break us either way.” His eyes flashed, and Katniss realized what the problem was- it was his pride. His stupid pride.

 

To her own horror, it was the realization that made her burst into tears. Katniss Everdeen Mellark was not a cryer, but she couldn’t stop the deluge now if she wanted to. “What if it does break us though? What if we spend that money just to keep you from looking like less of a man, and then we need it for something else but don’t have it? You can’t go into the mines!” She was sobbing uncontrollably. “I can’t lose you too, Peeta.”

 

His face dropped. “Katniss, I’m not going anywhere.” Peeta pulled her close and put his arms around her.

 

Katniss rested her forehead against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Nothing was more comforting than being surrounded by his presence, and the combination of his warmth and scent helped her to calm her racing heart.

 

Damn pregnancy - she’d heard that it could make a woman act foolishly sometimes, but this was absurd. Sometimes Katniss felt as though she wasn’t in possession of her own body anymore.

 

But the fears about the mines weren’t completely unfounded, and they both knew it. Dozens of Seam men had died over the years from cave-ins or explosions due to fire damp in the mines, a dangerous build up of flammable gasses that could explode with any kind of spark.

 

Katniss still remembers the sigh of relief she let out that spring day when Peeta told her he would be able to stay on at the bakery after they were married. The pay wasn’t much, so she tried to be extra careful with every coin that came in, because his other viable work alternative was unthinkable to her.

 

“How close are your pains?” Prim asks her, slipping a hand around her sister’s elbow.

 

“No closer.” The two girls walk down the dirt street towards town. “Maybe they’re more of those early ones.”

 

Katniss had been having false labor off and on for the last month now. Her belly would tighten and she’d feel a little short of breath, but Prim insisted that without the back pain it wasn’t real labor.

“No, that can’t be. You’re past due now, I’m sure of it.” Prim’s eyes focus on a distant point, “I wish Momma were here. She delivered most of the babies in the district back then- do you remember when Mrs. Baldwin had the twins first and then the triplets a year later? Momma swore up and down that there was something in the soil on that side of the mountain.”

 

Katniss is in no mood for this kind of talk- she’s irritable, not to mention uncomfortable. “Momma hadn’t delivered a baby since before Daddy died. Why do you think she’d have done us any good?”

 

Prim stiffens up on the crook of her arm, and Katniss immediately regrets the words. She thinks, not for the first time, that with each passing day this baby refuses to leave her body she is behaving more and more like Mrs. Mellark.

 

Prim sighs. “Katniss, she’s been gone for close to two years now. Don’t you think that you ought to forgive her? It’d do you some good.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

“I just don’t think that you ever really understood her, Daddy was her everything-”

 

Katniss cuts her off mid sentence. “She as good as left us herself after Daddy died, Prim. Believe me, I understand _perfectly_ that he was the only thing that mattered to her. What I don’t know is how you can just forgive her.”

 

“She couldn’t help it Katniss. Momma wasn’t strong like you are.”

 

“Strong like me?” Katniss gives an ironic laugh at that. “Strong like me- I swore up and down that I would never be _here.”_ She puts her hands on either side of her belly. “Having a baby and dependent on a man to take care of me. Yet here I am, just like Momma.”

 

“Katniss…”

 

“Can we just drop it, please?”

 

Prim squeezes her arm, “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to make you upset today. It’s not good for you or the baby.”

 

“I know you didn’t.” It isn’t Prim’s place to apologize, but Katniss is loathe to admit she’s being unreasonable herself. “You know that I don’t mean that about the baby, right Prim? This just isn’t the life that I pictured for myself, that’s all.”

 

Prim squeezes her hand. “I know Kat. It’s okay.”

 

The girls continue on their journey until they reach the town square. Since it’s not a busy shopping day, they don’t cross paths with many people- just a few merchant ladies, and Haymitch who is looking particularly bedraggled this morning.

 

Katniss wrinkles her nose at the scent of stale alcohol that is radiating off him. Haymitch hasn’t been by for a game of checkers with Peeta in a while and she assumes, based off his odor alone, he must be drinking himself into oblivion instead of working his still.

 

She doesn’t miss those days of being his neighbor in the Seam at all.

 

Haymitch nods at her belly and tips his hat with a slight grin as their paths cross. “Mrs. Mellark. Primrose.” Katniss scowls, but they are only two steps past him when an unbearably strong pain takes over her whole body, and she cries out as her stomach and back seize up. The pain grips her so tightly that she can hardly breathe through it.

 

Haymitch stumbles back over to them as Katniss lowers herself to the ground in agony. “Hey girl, you can’t just drop that youngun’ here- you’d better get back up.”  
  
When the pain subsides and she can breathe again, Katniss glowers at him. If she weren’t in so much distress right now, Haymitch Abernathy would be a dead man. She thinks back to his interruption the night she told Peeta about the baby, and wonders if he is to be present for every big moment in her life.

 

Will he be standing at the foot of the bed, giving his advice on how long to push or what to name the baby?

 

“Mr. Abernathy, would you mind going to the bakery and letting Peeta know that we need him?” Prim speaks up. “I’m not sure if I can get my sister back home by myself.”

 

“No, no. You don’t need to get him yet. I’m fine Prim.” Katniss pulls herself upright.

 

“No, you’re not.”

 

“Yes, I am. Besides, who knows if Haymitch is sober enough to make it there.” Katniss mutters, placing her hands on her hips and sucking in a deep breath.

 

“Hey, hey.” Haymitch interrupts them, pointing a finger at himself. The girls watch as he pulls a flask from his jacket pocket and unscrews it. He takes a long draught, and chokes a little as he swallows before placing the cap back on. “Wait here, sweetheart. I’ll be back.”

 

She starts to take off for the house, fully intent on not taking the drunk’s advice for a second, but Prim grasps her arm. “Please. He’ll be right back, and Peeta made us promise to get him when it was time.”

 

“It’s probably not time yet. _Gah_.” Katniss doubles up as another contraction hits her. “I thought my water was supposed to break before this happened,” she gasps as the contraction passes.

 

“Not always. I remember Momma had to break a woman’s water herself on occasion. Katniss, it has to be time now if your pain is that bad.”

 

Peeta shows up a minute later. He’s still in his apron from the bakery, his arms covered in flour. With his blue eyes ready to bug out of his head like a bullfrog and his flushed face, it’s obvious that he ran all the way here.

 

“What are you two doing out?” he asks, standing next to Katniss and putting his arm around her. “Are you okay?”

 

Katniss gives him a tight-lipped smile. “I just need to get home, I think.”

 

“Peeta, can you take her while I get Hazelle?” Hazelle Hawthorne had taken over the duties of midwife to the community once their mother stopped performing the duty. Prim tagged along with their former neighbor to help on occasion, and had recently began to assist her in some deliveries.

 

“Just take me home and then you can get back to work.” Katniss doesn’t really want him to leave her, despite her words. She’s frightened of what’s to come. While rare, it’s not unheard of for a woman to die in childbirth.

 

Fortunately Peeta seems to sense the insincerity of her words, because he just shakes his head. “I’m not going back.” He looks at her out of the corner of his eye as they walk.

 

“Peeta, men don’t stay around for the birth of their babies.” Why is she arguing with him? She could curse her own mule headedness sometimes.

 

“Katniss...” He trails off, turning to face her. “I’m not leaving you.”

 

Her eyes skate across his face, and she is relieved by his words, even if she hates to admit it. Katniss does have to ask herself- _When_ _did_ _I become_ _so_ _dependent_ _on_ _him_?

 

* * *

  


“Come on Katniss, you’re almost there.” Hazelle’s eyes are trained between her spread legs, one hand on her knee, the other on her calf. “I just need you to give me one more good long push, okay honey?”

 

“I can see the baby’s hair,” Prim pipes up after taking a quick peek.“It’s dark and wavy.”

 

Katniss groans and lays her head back against the bed frame. “I’m so tired.” Labor has been going on for hours, and things are progressing much more slowly than she could have imagined. Her body is sapped of energy, and everything hurts. She’s miserable.

 

Hazelle looks up, her eyes darting between the two perched on either side of the expectant mother. “Peeta, you can help her now, wrap your arm around her thigh and hold it up. It’ll give her some support when she pushes this last time- she’s getting tired. Primrose, you come take the other leg.”

 

“You’re almost there, sis.” Prim squeezes her leg once the two of them are in position.

 

Peeta leans over and kisses her forehead.  “Are you ready to see our baby?” His relief that his wife’s ordeal is almost over is palpable.

 

She nods, and tilts her head down so that her chin is touching her breastbone while Hazelle directs her, “Okay honey, one more good push. Right now!”

 

Drawing on that last source of energy that helps bring new life into the world, she bares down with all her might and pushes as long as she can. There is tremendous pressure and pain, her body almost feels as though it is tearing in half, and Katniss cries out as she feels the baby’s head slip out of her body.

 

The relief from the lessened pressure is immediate, and Hazelle grins. “You did so good Kat. Just one more push now, gently. The rest of this little one’s body will come out much easier, you’ve already done the hardest part.”

 

Katniss bares down one last time, and feels the baby slip the rest of the way out of her body. She collapses backwards, her energy spent as Hazelle holds up their child. The exhaustion makes her vision blurry, and she hears the midwife tease her husband.

 

“Peeta, it looks as though you’re going to stay out numbered for now- you two have yourselves a little girl.”

 

* * *

  
  


Prim cleans the baby herself. She lays the squirmy, shrieking newborn down on a towel and giggles over her niece’s tiny hands and feet as she wipes her off with a wash rag and a pan of warm water. “This is always my favorite part of helping Hazelle.” She admits with a little smile, rubbing her dry with a soft cloth and wrapping her new niece up in a diaper before handing her to Katniss.

 

“She’s so pretty.” Peeta says, looking down at their little girl. He hasn’t been able to take his eyes off their daughter, and neither has Katniss.

 

The baby turns her face toward Katniss and starts fussing, pursing her mouth in her mother’s arms. “She wants to nurse.” Hazelle tells her, sitting down on the bed. “Why don’t you try feeding her, and then Peeta can hold her for awhile while we get you cleaned up.”

 

Katniss is nervous as she unbuttons her nightgown. What if she can’t do this?

 

She needn’t have worried, because Hazelle proceeds to show Katniss how to cradle the baby in one arm while supporting her head, and after a few false starts the baby latches onto her nipple.

 

Once the newborn is settled, Hazelle and Prim leave the room to give the new family some privacy.

 

“Oh, that feels funny,” Katniss admits, smiling up at her husband as she feels the suction at her breast. Her heart twists in her chest when she sees the look on his face.

 

Peeta is completely fascinated by his wife and daughter. “This doesn’t feel real,” he admits, and his voice is soft as he reaches out and strokes the baby’s cheek with the tip of his finger. Her little lips pause for a minute, but then continue to suckle at her mother’s breast. “What should we call her?” he asks.

 

The baby pulls back from Katniss then, and opens her eyes long enough that they finally get a good look at the shade.

 

“Look at that color of blue, it’s so different than yours. I would almost say that it’s purple!”

 

“You’re right about the shade, but I’m pretty sure that is my color. Momma said that my eyes were violet when I was a baby,” Peeta admits, his voice taking on a wistful tone, “said the color was too pretty for a boy. She always was disappointed that I wasn’t a girl.”

 

“Peeta.” He never hesitates to show her his emotions, and it’s one of the things that she loves the most about him. Where she is so reserved and fearful, he never hesitates to wear his heart on his sleeve, good or bad.

 

Sometimes it’s heartbreaking but it’s always real.

 

“I’ll never feel that way about my girl,” he says, stroking his daughter’s arm.

 

“I know you won’t,” the baby is still rooting, so Katniss switches her to the other side. “You’re going to be a good daddy.”

 

“I hope so- I just don’t want to disappoint you or her.”

 

It’s quiet, and Katniss thinks for a minute as they watch the baby suckle a little longer. When their daughter pulls back she speaks up. “Peeta?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Are you listening to me?”

 

He chuckles, “I’m sorry, I just can’t take my eyes off her when she’s feeding- I could watch all day. You two are beautiful.”

 

Katniss looks back and forth between the man that loves her with everything he is and the child who is the living manifestation of their love. “Let’s name her Bluebell.”

 

Peeta doesn’t answer her at first, just laughs and reaches his arms out. “Can I take her now?” Katniss hands their daughter over, and he studies the baby’s face carefully once he’s settled back down in his chair. “It’s a pretty name, but why Bluebell?”

 

Katniss glances down at her hands. She has a hard time looking at Peeta when there is something important to say. The eye contact only seems to emphasize the inadequacy of her words. “I know that your momma thinks that color is violet, but I think it’s more like a bluebell. And I remember that my daddy’s plant book said the meaning of the flower is ‘everlasting love’.”

 

“I just want to be able to look at her and remember the way I feel right now. And the name will always remind me that she is yours, the color of her eyes and the way you feel about us...” Katniss trails off, unable to get the rest of out.

 

_What will he think?_

 

Peeta leans over to kiss her, and she feels his tears mingling with her own while the baby squeaks in protest at being disturbed. His mouth forms a shaky smile as he looks down at their daughter. “I like it. But what do you think, little one? Are you a Bluebell?”

 

She lets out a little gurgle, and her parents both laugh. “She agrees, Bluebell it is.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm @butrfac14 on tumblr. I love comments and kudos- but who doesn't?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta and Katniss are settling into life with a newborn, not without a few disagreements along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, finally getting a new chapter out (and yes it's been longer than three months. EEEP)
> 
> I have no good excuse :).
> 
> This chapter is chock-full of inaccurate birth control advice, I was just basing it on beliefs from the time and place for women who didn't have access to modern birth control for family planning. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT take any of Hazelle's advice to heart. 
> 
> Okay, I feel better now!
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Unbeta'd so all errors are mine.

Katniss opens her eyes and looks across the room to her daughter. She is tucked away in the least drafty spot of the house, next to the dresser Peeta brought from his mother and father's house when they were married. Bluebell is stretched out on her back, one fist raised to the corner of her lips. Katniss can see her narrow chest rise and fall with each breath, a gentle stirring beneath her blankets. 

 

Little bits of movement but the bed itself is still. She’s asleep. 

 

Like the chest of drawers the cradle is an old thing. It’s wood is smooth from use, and the oils of generations of fingertips and hands have cast its sides in a dark patina, passed down through generations of Mellarks. Katniss lined it with a soft rabbit fur cushion and a warm baby blanket her Aunt Prim spent nights piecing together by the fire, fashioned from scraps of her grandmother’s old dresses while they waited on her arrival

 

The first few weeks after she was born Peeta and Katniss slept with their daughter between them in the bed. At that point Belle was still waking to nurse every few hours, so the bed-sharing was the easiest solution for the three of them. 

 

Katniss couldn’t deny she’d enjoyed having her sweet girl close by where she could watch her little chest rise and fall during sleep. On the edge of waking again her nostrils would flare and her lips would smack. Belle would mouth her fist or the sheets, letting her mother know she was ready to eat again. 

 

New parenthood was exhausting, but when Belle would latch to her breast and Katniss could feel her little girl take nourishment from her own body, it was pure contentment. She liked to sit and stroke her daughters soft cheek as the baby sucked and swallowed, hungry little sounds that would lull them both back to sleep in the middle of the night or threaten her with heavy eyes in the day. Katniss found there were days she did a lot of cat napping while Peeta was at work and Prim at school. 

 

Once she began sleeping for longer stretches of time at night, Hazelle encouraged her to start putting the baby in her own bed. “Causes problems down the line,” the midwife told Katniss when she came to check up on them at her two week house call. “It’s hard to have marital relations with a young ‘un sleeping between the two of you. Not that you need to be thinking about that right now- give yourself a few weeks. Your body still needs to heal itself. I can tell Peeta if you need me too, not all men believe their wives. A lot of them seem to think their women are just trying to get out of wifely duties.”

 

Katniss felt a pang of pity for the women whose men weren’t like her husband. “No, that’s okay. He hasn’t brought up, err… _that_ yet but I’ll tell him we need to give it a few weeks.” She laughed wryly. “I think we’re both so tired he hasn’t given it a thought.” 

 

Katniss wasn’t too concerned about having that conversation with him. It didn’t seem like something that needed to be addressed when the only thing they had the energy to do at night was collapse on top of the bed. Peeta was usually fast asleep before she was even settled, snoring like a bear in his den.

 

“I thought you’d say that, you’ve got a good man on your hands. Just so you know,” Hazelle continued, “once you start having relations again you shouldn’t get pregnant as long as the baby is just taking your milk. And once she starts eating, there’s some herbs Prim can give you that help. A man can also pull out, but not all of them will.”

 

She was glad for the advice. Her thoughts went to those families with eight, nine, or ten children running around the Seam, dirty-faced, skinny, dressed in threadbare clothing even during this cold part of the year. While she wouldn’t trade her Bluebell for anything, Katniss wasn’t in a hurry to have another. It was good to feel like she had a few options, that things weren’t completely out of her control the way she’d always imagined marriage and children to be.

 

The house is still and quiet, and Katniss notes there’s a thick layer of frost on the window, although it’s plenty warm inside the room. Since late fall has handed its reins over to early winter they’ve taken to propping the bedroom door open at night to keep the bedroom warmer. 

 

She realizes that Peeta must have left the stove going when he left for work, not wanting them to wake up to a chilly house. _He’s such a fusser,_ she thinks, but it brings a smile to her face. The two of them haven’t agreed on everything since Belle came along, and his worry drives her to distraction sometimes, but Hazelle is right. He is a good man.

 

Done with her morning contemplation, Katniss tosses back the quilt and scoots out of bed. Based on the bright sunlight streaming in through the window, she knows it’s time to make certain that Prim is up for school and get some breakfast going for the two of them. 

 

As her stockinged feet hit the floor, Katniss realizes that for the first time since her daughter’s arrival she feels good, energetic even, ready to get some work done. It’s a welcome feeling, and since Belle seems to be giving her a bit of a break this morning by sleeping in, she’s going to take advantage of it by getting some stuff done around the house.

 

 _Surely if I get this place in order he can’t fuss at me for wanting to go out, can he?_ Katniss contemplated as she pulled off her nightgown and slipped a day dress over her head, her thoughts wandering back to a conversation from a few nights ago. 

 

* * *

  


Katniss has never been more thankful for the indoor pump than she is today. Back in the Seam their water source was located outside the house, and getting what was needed required hauling heavy buckets in and out. It would have taken her all morning to bring enough water inside to do the laundry and dishes, what with having to stop and take care of Belle, let alone carry enough inside to heat on top of the stove for scrubbing the floor clean. 

 

She hadn’t gotten as far as the last item on her list, and it was probably for the best. Katniss was just hanging the last of the diapers on the inside line, mentally debating whether she _actually_ wanted to keep going or not, when a mighty knock sounded at her door. 

 

It started her. On occasion her friend Johanna or Annie Odair would stop by for a cup of coffee and visit once in a while, but neither of them made that kind of rucus when they came. “Hey sister, can I come in?” The sound leaks through the door. 

 

To her surprise it’s her brother-in-law Rye. 

 

Katniss can’t say she’s particularly happy to see him, but cautiously opens the door. He steps through, shutting the door behind him abruptly, and leans against it with a crooked grin. 

 

If someone were to ask her opinion on Rye Mellark, the best term that could be used to describe him is a _rake_. He’s handsome, no doubt about it, technically more so than Peeta. The man is charming and smooth, but there’s just something dishonest and shiny about him that makes her uncomfortable in his presence. 

 

If she weren’t married to his brother she wouldn’t want to find herself alone in a room with him.

 

Katniss is also fully aware that he ought to be at work. It’s a Tuesday, and she knows Tuesdays are her father-in-law’s day off because Peeta’s day was yesterday, while Rye is usually off on Wednesdays. The bakery’s supplies are brought in on the Thursday train, and Fridays and Saturdays are busy because the mine pays out on the weekend.

 

“What’s going on, _brother_?” Katniss asks, a definite edge of sarcasm in her voice. She narrows her eyes at him and he laughs.

 

“Do I need a reason to visit with my favorite sister-in-law?” He gifts her with his most charming smile. She just huffs. 

 

“You’re full of horse manure and we both know it,” she tells him, but steps back to let him further in the house. He might be a bane to her but he is family. “And why aren’t you at work?”

 

“Oh you know, just taking a day off to enjoy my young life.”

 

Katniss snorts, but nods at the kitchen table. “Well set your young self down and I’ll make us some coffee. There’s some leftover biscuits in the tin if your hungry.”

 

“Did Peeta make them?”

 

“Nope.”

 

Rye grimaces as he pulls his chair out. “No thank you. No offense, but I’ve had your biscuits. Just some coffee would be plenty, thank you.”

 

“Milk?”

 

“No thanks.”

 

Katniss shrugs, but takes two cups out of the cupboard and sets them next to the stove while she waits for the coffee pot to boil. 

 

“How’s my niece?” Rye asks, leaning his chair back on two legs. He’s got that mask of nonchalance on that he’s so good at taking on and off, but there is definitely something peculiar about this little visit of his. “Beautiful like her momma?”

 

“She’s fine. Growing like a weed.” Katniss ignores the compliment and looks over her shoulder at the bedroom door. Belle should be getting up from her nap any minute- she’s surprised his thundering knock on the door didn’t wake her earlier.

 

“Still can’t believe my little brother is the first one of us to become a daddy.” Rye offers, grinning at her.

 

Katniss is fully aware of what Rye and Phil are like, and wouldn’t be at all surprised if one or both of them have already sown their seeds in the community. There’s a strong chance that Belle has a cousin floating around somewhere, most likely in the Seam where there are plenty of poor girls susceptible to a Merchant boy’s charms.

 

But she keeps her mouth shut. _He’s family. He’s family. He’s family,_ she tells herself.

 

As if the baby read her mind, a warbley cry comes from the bedroom. Katniss moves the coffee pot to the back of the stove. “I need to take care of Belle but the coffee’s almost done- you can help yourself to some when it is. I’ll probably be a while.” 

 

“I’ll sit tight.” Rye pulls a knife and a block of wood from his pocket. “Plenty here to entertain myself.”

 

Katniss plucks the fussy baby out of her bed, taking time to first feed and then change her. She’s gone for a good twenty minutes before heading back out to the kitchen, not in any real hurry to visit with Peeta’s brother. When she reenters the room on feet as silent as always, she catches him standing beside the sink, looking out the kitchen window. 

 

“Hiding from someone?” Katniss asks, and she’d swear he jumps a mile. 

 

“Nope, not today.” Rye stuffs his hands in his pockets, a motion her husband makes when he’s nervous. “I’d better get going now though. Thanks for the coffee Katniss.” 

 

She can’t help but notice the cups look untouched. 

 

“Sure, anytime. Maybe Peeta will be here when you come back.”  She replies, shifting Belle in her arms.

 

He turns around at the door and grins. “Nawh, he sees me everyday at  work. He’s probably sick to death of me.”

 

 _I can imagine,_ she thinks as Rye pulls the door shut behind him. Katniss lets out a sigh of relief, the atmosphere in the room lighter with her brother-in-law’s exit. “I think I’ll have that coffee now little lady,” she looks down at her daughter. “And I don’t know what he’s talking about anyway, my biscuits aren’t that bad.”

 

Belle gurgles in response.

 

“Say what you want but I’m not the baker. That’s your daddy.”

 

* * *

  
  


“So my brother stopped by.” Peeta shakes his head and passes the pan of fried potatoes to Prim, who takes a large helping before setting them down on her end of the table. The disgust practically radiates off him as they prepare to eat their evening meal together. “Nice of Rye to be out enjoying himself on Daddy’s day off.” 

 

Katniss slides into her seat, Belle in the crook of her arm. She debates about whether or not to mention Rye’s strange behavior, but decides against it. Peeta seems aggravated enough already. Not that she blames him, he was stuck running the bakery alone all day and came home looking completely exhausted. Instead she looks at the meager spread of potatoes, corn bread, and pinto beans, letting out a sigh. “I miss having meat.”

 

“I’ll help Daddy butcher the hogs next week, we’ll have some pork then. Just had to wait till we had time and it’s cool enough so the meat won’t spoil.” That wasn’t what Katniss meant at all, and Peeta knows it just as well as she does. 

 

He won’t look her in the eye, just picks up his fork and starts shoveling food into his mouth. 

 

They’d had an argument about whether or not Katniss was going to go hunting again a few evenings ago. She’d mentioned a desire to go on his next day off, but he’d immediately began to protest. “What if something happens to you out there? What would Belle do? What would Prim do?”  


“Peeta,” she began, trying to keep her voice calm. It was difficult when he was being so irrational. She wasn’t used to having to be the sensible one, that was his job.

 

Katniss had never taken well to people telling her what she was or wasn’t going to do, and if she didn’t love the man so much she would’ve been sorely tempted to hit him. “I know my way around the woods. I don’t know what you think is going to happen to me out there, but I know how to protect myself. The animals aren’t going to get me.”

 

“It’s not the animals I’m worried about.” Peeta rolled over in bed and wrapped his arms around her waist. “It’s just that your mine now Katniss, and I worry about you. I want to protect you and take care of you. I’d never forgive myself if something happened out there.”

 

It passed through her mind that the term _mine_ could be taken as an endearment, but it just made her blood boil. “I swear to the almighty you best not-”

 

He interrupted her. “You don’t know what kind of men you could run into out there. What if one of them decided to take advantage of you?”

 

“They’d be pulling an arrow out of their neck is what would happen.” She turned around in the bed to look at him. “Peeta, I spent years alone in the woods. The folks around here know me, they respect me. Not only that, they know _you_. Who do you think is going to try to hurt me knowing you’re the one they’d have to answer to?”

 

“I just…”

 

“You just what?” Katniss pulled away from him to catch his eye in the semi darkness. Belle had recently gone down for the night and she didn’t want to wake her, so despite her irritation, she kept her voice low.

 

His eyes were honest, and she felt her chest tighten a bit, but it didn’t change her mind about anything. “I just couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. The way I feel about you going out hunting is the same way you feel about the mines. Why can’t you see that?”

 

At his ill-thought-out words Katniss propped herself up on her elbow and glared at him, all empathy gone. Comparing mining to hunting was so unfair. 

 

Her voice came out as a hiss when she finally got the words past her shaking lips. “It’s not the same at all, and how dare you say that to me! And hunting is what I know, it’s what I’m good at. I’m not just going to be your little wife who sits at home tending your children and your house.”

 

Peeta sat all the way up and tugged at the blankets. “Keep your voice down, you’ll wake up the baby.”

 

Katniss felt her edge of control slipping away, but instead of saying anything more she rolled over and presented him with her back. If he was going to be a stubborn ass than she wasn’t going to talk to him. He wasn’t going to scold her to be quiet when it was his fault for getting her riled up in the first place.

 

“I could stay home from school and keep Belle while you go out in the morning Katniss.” Prim innocently volunteers. “I’m sure you’re wanting to get back out, and I could miss a day here or there.”

 

She looked at Peeta out of the corner of her eye, trying to gauge his reaction. She meant what she’d said the other night; Katniss had no intention of being his submissive little wife no matter what anyone said, including him. She would go back out in the woods, but she’d rather not fight with him about it.

 

His lips were pressed together tightly. He wouldn’t look at her.

 

Katniss turned to her sister, her decision made. “Why don’t I just wait until Saturday? I don’t want you missing any school on account of me.”

 

“Don’t go and it won’t be a problem.” Peeta said softly, looking down at his plate and shoveling another mouthful in. He grabbed his cup and took a drink, his gaze focused over her shoulder. 

 

 _I hope you choke,_ the thought flashed across her mind. She’d feel guilty if he wasn’t so hell-bent on being an ass tonight. 

 

Before Katniss could say anything more he put his fork down, the last bite gone. “You’re going to do whatever you want anyway. I don’t know why I bother saying anything, you don’t care about my opinion in the least.” He shoved his chair back and stood up. “Haymitch invited me over to play checkers tonight. I’ll be back late.”

 

Once the door slammed behind the second Mellark brother of the day, Prim turned to face her sister, her mouth wide open. “What was that about? Is it my fault Peeta left?”

 

Katniss shook her head, biting her lip to hold back the angry tears. “No it’s not your fault.” She stood and wiped her eyes, handing Belle over to her sister. “Can you hold her while I clean up the dinner dishes?”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh, trouble in paradise? 
> 
> No, I don't think Peeta is really that big of a jerk. He's just a young husband and father who isn't quite sure what he's doing yet. And he had a long day, so don't be too hard on him yet.
> 
> What do you think of Katniss assuming if the work is done at home Peeta won't care if she goes hunting? I'd call it a classic case of miscommunication. They still don't know each other as well as they could. There's still a lot of growing/ growing up in general to do in this relationship. I just picture these two as a pair of mountain hotheads.
> 
> Let me know what you think. I'll say it again, I love to talk so drop me a line.
> 
> I'm still @butrfac14 on tumblr! Thanks for reading :).


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peeta and Katniss reconnect after their argument. Fun times ensue ;), and they find out a little more about what's going on with Rye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is unbeta'd, so let me know if you see any glaring issues and I will go back in and correct them. I'm on a writing bender right now and can't seem to stop myself (lol).
> 
> Thank you to the lovely Alliswell for a little inspiration for this chapter!

“Katniss.” At the sound of his voice, she rolls over in their bed and looks at him. Red-rimmed eyes, pale cheeks, his skin thin and translucent in the moonlight, exhaustion painted in the blue veins and purple rings that lay visible beneath his lips and eyes. 

 

Belle went to sleep early, and despite the anxiety that gnawed at her gut once Peeta stormed off to Haymitch’s place, Katniss felt her own head droop and her eyes grow heavy as she sat by the stove with Prim and Buttercup while he was gone. 

 

It had been an exhausting day, even without taking their argument into account, and her energy level wasn’t quite what it used to be yet.

 

Nothing felt like it used to, honestly.

 

She didn’t hear Peeta when he came back home, hadn’t stirred when he climbed into bed next to her. 

 

Katniss found herself longing for the days when she’d wake up with him in the mornings, when she wasn’t so tired all the time. The days when she still felt like herself. When things were easier. 

 

“What time is it?” she asks, sitting up a little and rubbing her eyes, her voice thick with sleep. 

 

He clears his throat, and his voice is hoarse when he speaks again, “It’s late. I’m sorry I woke you up.” 

 

There’s a faint trace of alcohol on his breath. She takes in the morose expression on his face, what she can see in the dim light of their bedroom. His thoughts seem to be weighing heavy on his mind, and all she wants is for him not to look that way anymore. 

 

“I don’t mind,” she tells him, rolling onto her side so they are face to face. “Belle would probably be getting me up soon anyway.”

 

He leans in closer to her, hesitantly, like he doesn’t know whether she’s still angry with him or not. “I shouldn’t have stormed off like that earlier, I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

 

“What do you mean?” Katniss props her head up on the crook of her arm so she’s eye level with him. 

 

“I don’t know how to explain it exactly. It's just that I feel like I’m drowning in all of this sometimes.”

 

“All of what?” 

 

“You and me. Bluebell. Even Prim is growing up- I saw Rory Hawthorne talking to her in town the other day. And it didn’t just seem friendly, he was _looking_ at her.” His tone makes it sound like the boy had been trying to take advantage of Prim at the slag heap instead of engaging in some harmless flirting with her.

 

Katniss sighs. “I know. Everything is so different, isn’t it? I miss things being easier.”

 

Peeta’s forehead drops to her shoulder. “You have no idea.” He lets out a breath and looks back up. “Katniss, I’m sorry. I don’t want to control you.”

 

She’d had some time to think while he was gone that evening. Of course she’d been angry, but with some time apart to cool down, Katniss had come to several realizations. Right now seems like the time to be honest with him. 

 

He deserves it from her. “I don’t think you are trying to control me. Well, maybe you are a _teeny_ bit.” Peeta starts to speak but Katniss doesn’t let him. “I thought about everything while you were at Haymitch’s, and I think you’re right about this one. I probably am trying to rush into going out again. I felt like I was ready to collapse after doing some cleaning and laundry today.”

 

“I don’t want you to overdo it, and I’m sorry if I’m not helping you enough around here. This thing with my brother is making me crazy.” 

 

Katniss shakes her head. “I know it is, and stop apologizing. You’re taking too much on yourself.” She rolls over on her back and stares at the ceiling. It’s a hard fact to admit, the one that’s nagging at the back of her mind but insists on being released. She doesn’t want to look at him while she admits to it. 

 

The words feels like a weakness, and she hates to be weak. “I’m just having a hard time realizing that I’m not the same person I used to be. I don’t like admitting when I’m wrong. I don’t like having to take advice from you.”

 

Peeta chuckles softly.

 

“I don’t like it that I can’t just run off into the woods and do what I used to do. I like doing things my own way.”

 

“No kidding. That’s not exactly new information.”

 

Katniss turns her head and looks at him, and when she catches his eye she has to grin. “Shut your mouth.”

 

He reaches for her, running the tip of his thumb down the curve of her cheek. “But those are the things I always liked about you. Your quiet strength, your stubbornness.” Peeta smiles. “I don’t want that part of you to go away. It’s you, and I don’t want to change that. I just...don’t know what we would do if anything happened to you. You and her,” he nods at their daughter’s crib, “are my whole life.” 

 

“I know.” Katniss tells him truthfully. She knows his heart. Peeta has done nothing but show every part of himself to her, his actions guileless from that first day they spent together. It’s the reason why she feels safe revealing her shortcomings and fears to him. Only him.

 

He’s the only one she trusts.

 

With the confession out Katniss feels lighter, peaceful, in a place where she can say anything. “You know I’m going to want to go out again eventually. I need to.”

 

His hand moves down to her waist and he tugs her against him, tucking Katniss into his body. Her head comes to rest under his chin and he speaks into the crown of her head. “I know that, but can we not talk about it right now? The idea shouldn’t worry me so much, because I know that you’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. Really I do. I just want to keep you somewhere where I know you’ll be safe.”

 

“Peeta-” She begins to protest but he interrupts her.

 

“When you’re ready, really ready, I’ll try to keep my big mouth shut. I can’t promise I won’t say something stupid, but I’ll try.” His words are low, and she can feel the rumble of them on her lips where they rest against the base of his throat. “Is that enough for now?”

 

“That’s good enough for me.”

 

“Good,” he sighs, hugging her close. The heat radiates off his body, and as hers floods with warmth she realizes how much she’s missed him. Katniss can’t remember the last time she felt so comfortable, so loved.

 

“I love you.” She whispers as her eyelids grow heavier.

 

“I love you too, and I’m glad we’re not fighting anymore.” His voice is slurry with sleep, from fighting off drowsiness long enough to finish their conversation. “I’ll try to stop being stupid.”

 

Katniss laughs a little. “It’s okay. You know it’s probably not going to be our last fight, we can both be pretty big asses.”

 

He chuckles and pulls her closer. “But I’m so glad you’re my ass.” 

 

The sound of their laughter wakes the baby up. 

 

Peeta groans and rolls away. “My fault, I’ll get her,” he climbs out of the bed.

 

“You’re going to be ready to drop tomorrow,” Katniss scolds, sitting up before he lays Belle in her arms. She pulls her nightgown open with one hand while he settles on his side of the bed, his head propped up to watch.

 

“Probably, but it’s worth it.” His voice trails off and his head droops. He’s quiet, the silence continuing for such a long time she thinks he’s fallen back asleep, but his face is in shadow so she can’t be sure. It surprises her when he sits up after Belle is done eating. Katniss protests when he reaches to take their daughter again. He just shushes her and whispers, “Does her diaper need changed?”

 

Katniss shakes her head. “I think she’ll be okay until the next time she wakes up.” Thankfully, Belle stays asleep once Peeta lays her in her bed. He stands beside the cradle and stares at her for a moment. “We’re lucky. She’s a good baby, isn’t she?”

 

“I think so,” she whispers. “The best.”

 

Peeta climbs back in bed and she snuggles up to him again, not ready to relinquish the cozy feel they have recaptured tonight. 

 

“Maybe you should take the day off tomorrow,” she suggests, running a hand through his hair. Peeta never misses work. Not that they don’t need the money, they do, and she’s thankful that her husband isn’t a lazy-bones. She just hates to see him looking so exhausted.

 

He sighs. “I’d love to, I would. Rye just isn’t very reliable lately, and I can’t leave my father with all the work tomorrow. You’d think he’d show up since he left me holding the bag today, but I’m sure he won’t.”

 

“I wonder what’s going on with him. He was acting awfully peculiar this afternoon.” She admits, snaking her arms around Peeta’s waist. The close contact stirs something in the pit of her stomach. Thoughts that haven’t even crossed her mind over the last few weeks, even after her “all-clear”. 

 

The feel of his body pressed against hers, enveloped in the dark stillness of their room, stirs a familiar hunger for him and his touch. But he’s already mostly asleep, and only acknowledges her information about Rye with a mumbled, “hmmm.” 

 

They’ll have to talk, among other things, another time.

 

Katniss presses a kiss to his neck. “Good night Peeta.”

 

All she gets in response is a light snore.

 

* * *

 

A handful of days pass, and when Saturday dawns with bright clarity and the promise of a decent weather day, Katniss decides that she will leave Belle with Prim. 

 

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” she asks as she bends over to lace up her boots. For this particular outing she’s paired them with slacks and a dress that covers most of her legwear. She slips into her father’s leather hunting jacket. Next come the mittens Prim knitted for her last winter, followed by a cap for her head.

 

“Of course I don’t,” Prim holds a wide eyed Belle in her arms. “I might take her outside for a few minutes myself, introduce her to Lady.”

 

“That’s fine, just make sure you bundle her up in a blanket and hat. And don’t take her too far.”

 

“I won’t.” Prim promises. “This isn’t my first time with her. Now you’d better get going before Peeta beats you home.”

 

On Saturdays, the bakery closes at noon, and the men are typically done with their work shortly after. If she wants to get started before he gets back she needs to go now. “I won’t be too long,” Katniss promises as she buttons up her coat.

 

“Take your time sis. Enjoy yourself.” Prim gives her a kiss on the cheek, and Katniss grins at her before slipping out the door.

 

* * *

 

“What are you doing here?” Peeta asks, his expression a little concerned at the sight of her waiting for him on the back steps of the bakery. 

 

“Belle’s fine.” Katniss reassures him. She tucks her hands into her pockets and smiles at him from her place on the bottom step, waiting for him to say something.

 

“You had me worried. Come in, it’s cold out here and I’m almost done. What did you want? Do you want me to bring something home for tonight? We’ve got a few loaves leftover.”

 

“No, I’m okay here. I just came to see if you wanted to walk me home.”

 

“Sure. Where have you been this morning?” 

 

“Home.”

 

He scrunches up his brow. “Well that doesn’t make much sense. You came here, from our house, to ask me to walk you home. To our house.”

 

Katniss huffs. “Has anyone ever told you that you can be kind of dense sometimes?”

 

“Yes.” He gives her an irritatingly innocent grin. 

 

 _Prim must have said something to him._  

 

Katniss sticks her hands in her pockets and stamps her feet a little to warm them up. The sun is out, but she’s getting cold from standing in one place too long. “Actually, I was coming to see if you wanted to go for a walk in the woods with me.”

 

Peeta studies her, crossing his arms over his chest. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and she wonders if he knows how attractive she finds him in that moment. Katniss feels warmer just looking at him. 

 

They stare each other down for a moment, and when he opens his mouth it’s to tease her. There’s an honest-to goodness twinkle in his eye. “I don’t know, not sure if I’m comfortable with that. You’re not going to try to take me to the slag heap, are you? You going to give me some line about “just getting to know me” before you seduce me? My daddy has told me about women like you.”

 

“Peeta Mellark, keep your voice down!” she hisses out, “what if somebody hears you?  If you know what’s good for you you’ll shut that mouth of yours-” He cuts her off by striding down the steps and interrupting her with a kiss. A breath-catching, soul searing kiss. It catches her off guard and she stumbles on the step, but he catches her and pulls her closer to him. 

 

“I’ve got you,” he murmurs. “I ain’t gonna let you fall. Ever.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I still haven’t forgiven you,” Katniss tells him as they step through the treeline into the woods that surround the outskirts of town. “What if someone heard those things you were saying? You know how those old hens in town like to talk.”

 

Peeta laughs and pulls their joined hands to his lips. He plants a kiss on her fingertips. “Let them talk. What’s it going to hurt?” 

 

His breath tickles her fingers. She ignores the sensation. “You were insinuating that I was a woman of loose morals, and you _know_ it.”

 

He drops her hand and loops his arm around her waist, his mouth dipping to murmur in her ear as he tugs her against his side. His breath makes a current run all the way from her head to her toes. “Are you forgetting that most of what I mentioned was true? I was there for all of it. I remember.” He plants a kiss on her neck and she shivers at the touch, but still manages to scowl at him again. 

 

“We never went to the slag heap and you know it!”

 

“Details, details.”

 

Katniss stops and pulls away from him. She crosses her arms. “Peeta!”

 

He throws up his hands. “Now I never said I didn’t like it...ouch!” She catches him off guard and shoves him into a tree, tired of his teasing words and teasing touches. Katniss steps into him, grabbing the collar of his coat. They’re staring at each other, breathing hard. She stares at his soft lips. His tongue darts out to wet the bottom one...

 

And then they’re kissing. Frantically, desperately, like the answers to the most important questions in the universe can be found while her tongue is inside his mouth. She’s rubbing herself against him like a cat in heat, and he grunts at the sudden friction against the bulge in his pants.

 

It’s been too long, and the coil of insatiably has snapped.

 

“Katniss, Katniss…” he mumbles into her mouth, his hands reaching down to unbutton her coat, greedy to touch her flesh. Peeta slips his hands inside and begins to unfasten the front of her dress, his hands icy cold but god.. so good. 

 

She arches into his touch as his fingertips slip inside her bra, and gasps as he caresses her taut nipples. 

 

Her body is throbbing for him. She rubs against him again, aching to hear him groan and feel him thrust against her. “This is… this is crazy. Someone is going to see us.” Katniss pants, but slides her hands underneath his coat and shirt regardless so that she can feel the heat radiating off his bare skin. 

 

Her brain and her body seem to have taken two wildly different paths. Her mind is telling her that this is a terrible idea, while her hands and mouth can’t get enough of him. 

 

Peeta pulls her dress open. He tugs the cups of her bra down, and when the frigid air tightens her nipples she gasps out loud. Her body is hot, burning from the inside out while the cold air is agonizing, almost too much against her sensitive skin.

 

He cups her with his warm palms, covering her breasts with his hands as their kisses grow deeper. They devour each other, lips and teeth and tongues until they are both a mess, panting into the other’s mouth.

 

“I need you,” she gasps as he squeezes her roughly.

 

He doesn’t say anything, just grasps the bodice of her dress in his hands, rebuttoning it so that she’s mostly covered again. She begins to scold him, but he places one finger over her mouth. “Not out here,” Peeta groans, “we can’t do this here.”

 

Katniss scowls at him in frustration. In the past they did this plenty of times _out here._ But she’s trying to catch her breath, trying to calm her racing heart, warring with herself about whether or not she’s going to push him down on the ground and take what she wants from him, when like a gift from the heavens she remembers something. 

 

“The cave.” Katniss snatches his hand, dragging Peeta behind her as she takes off running. 

 

It’s not very far, a little jog through the woods, a slight climb up a hillside into an outcropping of rocks. They investigate it for any sign of animal life, but thankfully it’s empty.

 

And then they don’t speak. There’s a flurry of essential clothing removed, because it is winter and it is the middle of the afternoon and there is always the risk of someone stumbling across them here. Peeta takes off his coat and folds it up for her to use as a pillow. She lays back. For the first time in months she spreads her legs wide, welcoming him there. He lays down on top of her, tilts his hips, and then he’s _there_.

 

“Oh,” she moans, breathing deep and closing her eyes. It’s a little uncomfortable at first, but the feeling soon fades into the bliss of being connected to him again. It doesn’t feel immediately gratifying, but it’s good for her heart and her mind to be here with him.

 

He kisses her gently, slowly rocking into her. “Does it hurt?” Peeta whispers, his concern for her outshining his desire. 

 

This is why she loves him so much. He’s so thoughtful. Warm. He compliments her fire, stokes it into a life-sustaining blaze.

 

Katniss opens her eyes and looks up at him. “No, just go slow. It’s been awhile.” 

 

“I know.” He smiles against her lips. “I’ve missed you.”

 

She shudders at the feel of him deep inside, filling her to the brim. “I’ve missed you too.”

 

The sensations build with kissing and caressing, rocking in and out. Wandering hands grasping handfuls of flesh that have been off limits for too long. Finally with her arms wrapped around his back and her thighs clenched tightly around his hips, she lifts up into his thrust and unravels. 

 

Katniss gasps, her body tensing up as a quiet, serene feeling of disconnect overtakes her. The world disappears and there is only him and her for a few blissful moments as their bodies are wracked with pleasure.

 

 

* * *

 

They sit side by side on the cool earth of the cave floor, matching grins of satisfaction on their faces as they tie their shoes back on. “Make sure you knot them twice,” Peeta says, nudging her with his elbow.

 

They need to go. It’s getting cold, and the cave is a little ways from home. Katniss isn’t exactly sure how she’s going to explain their dirty clothes when they get back, she just hopes Prim doesn’t ask too many questions.

 

Peeta stands and offers his hand to her. She takes it and he pulls her up into his arms. “Thanks for coming to get me today,” he says with a happy little laugh.

 

“Well, I thought it was my turn.” Katniss presses her face into his coat and takes a deep breath. This is her favorite place to be, wrapped up with him like this. “You asked me the last time.”

 

He pulls back and looks at her. “I did, didn’t I? Best decision I ever made.” 

 

They’re both hesitant to leave after their time here, but finally they separate with one last kiss, threading their fingers together to begin the trek home to Prim and Belle. They reach the mouth of the cave and are ready to step out into the fading afternoon sunlight when Katniss stops him. “Do you hear that?” she whispers. 

 

There’s a sound, and it’s getting louder.

 

Peeta nods, and they step back into the shadows without another word.

 

There are voices, angry ones. 

 

One of them is very familiar. 

 

“I told you that I’ll have your money soon. You know me, you know I’m good for it.” Rye’s voice floats over to them. Katniss looks at Peeta, whose face has taken on an incredulous look. 

 

Rye’s voice drops lower, and she can’t make it out the rest of what he says.

 

The other man’s voice is one she doesn’t recognize, but it’s obviously angry. Very angry. “You’ve got a week, and then I’m coming for you.” 

 

The two of them wait in the cave. Eventually they hear retreating footsteps and the voices fade, leaving Katniss with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

 

She catches Peeta’s eye. “What are we going to do about that?”

 

He is positively fuming. She thought he was angry a few nights ago, but it was nothing compared to this. “I don’t know.” He spits out the next words. “That stupid son of a bitch is going to get himself killed.” 

 

Finally, Peeta shakes his head. He sighs. “Come on, let's go home. Standing out here and freezing ourselves isn’t going to do us any good.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think if you're feeling it. Thanks for reading!


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